How have we become a world where everything is supposed to be fair? Where did this start? No one should be left out; no one should get their feelings hurt; no one should lose. Everyone deserves something; everyone needs a part; everyone wins; everyone should be happy. What are we passing on to our children when we teach these concepts in sports, social activities, church, school, or even at home? What ever happened to "good job; congratulations" or "nice try; maybe next time" accompanied by a pat on the back? What ever happened to considering the other side's point of view or letting by-gones be by-gones? Everything does not need to be made right for our children because later in life, in adulthood, life is full of hard knocks, and you need to learn early on how to take a few.
When I was growing up, we learned to deal with the good and the bad of life. There were winners and losers, name-calling and cliques. There were even fist fights at school! But once all was said and done, whether you felt justified or condemned, vindicated or incriminated, accepted or ignored, you learned to accept it as life. You learned to find and be the you that God created you to be. Even sports reflected the ups and downs of life. If your team won, you were the winners. The other team lost and, yes, they were the losers. One side learned to be gracious winners and the other side good losers. When the day came that the opposite occurred, all had learned how to be good sports. In socialization, when someone hurt your feelings or said something unkind, you talked to your parents about it, you had friends who didn't care what others said, and your self worth was not damaged. You even learned to pray for those who hurt you and forgive! Then you moved on and did not need to have someone make it right for you. If you did not fit into a group, you learned that you could not make that change unless you wanted to act as someone you were not. You also learned that being who you were had more worth than fitting into that group. If there was something major going on, all parties and their parents were in the same room at the same time so that the matter could be discussed and handled right then and that was the end of it. If correction was needed, it was doled out there and followed up by the parents at home. By the time it was all washed out, everyone felt better -- maybe not happy, but better. Teachers kept it to themselves; parents did not gossip; drama did not
ensue. Rumors only were spread by those who speculated but had no proof, because those involved had settled it and moved on. Even in the classroom, if you did not follow instructions or received a bad grade, you worked harder the next time to put your best effort forward. The burden was not shifted to anyone but you; yet even at that, we were taught to accept that life is not always fair if things did not go the way we thought they should have.
Today, it seems that life has become about keeping everyone satisfied, even so far as keeping everyone happy. Let's face it - Jesus said that we would face trials in this world. He
never said we always get our way or that life is always going to be just
right. He told us to turn the other cheek as much as it took and let God handle the rest because revenge was not ours to take. This world is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people, and imperfect people do imperfect things. We have to learn early on to face those facts, handle what comes our way, and live our lives without the need for our own gratification. We will never find that in this lifetime except when we mold our minds, hearts and lives to that of Christ. God's love should be enough for us no matter what people do or say. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2. No, it does not say to concern yourself with renewing another person's mind -- renewing your mind. How? By weighing everything according to scripture and by prayer. You know that saying that everything happens for a reason? It has a good source: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28. Even the losing, getting your feelings hurt, being left out, or whatever bad thing comes down the pike, right into the trials of adulthood, God has a plan that will use all of it for good. It does not say for the good of teaching the other person a lesson, for getting your way, for making us happy or that life will be perfect. The scripture say for God's purpose. We are not in
charge of our own happiness but as God measures happiness to us, even if that
means first accepting unhappiness and then seeking His happy place in the midst of whatever happens. Our lives, the ups and downs of it all, are all for the glory of Christ.
